vaseline slips through fingers-
a dash here, a dash there.
fingers walk on each other
with no clear destination.
pause a while, rub a nail
feeling the zagged edges.
knuckles wait for their turn
fisting into palm, whispering.
both ends of lifeline meet,
exchanging pleasantries.
hands hold whole of universe
needing no other direction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Read more road signs...
23 comments:
I like this, especially,
"both ends of lifeline meet
exchanging pleasantries."
A lovely write.....especially the last few lines!
You've taken a simple, everyday action and elevated it. Well done!
hands hold whole of universe
needing no other direction.
so very true Gautami
such a simple poem.. you made it sound so lovely tho,, i had to read it twice to make sure you were just talking about rubbing vaseline on your hands....
I like the way your words circle, work and come back to the ultimate line.
Another really strong one, G. So very vivid... Wow.
Uh Huh! Yep!
effortlessly writen as if you composed this in tranquil mood. lovely stuff.
Agree with ...deb. In fact that is the strength of the poem, IMHO.
That was lovely!
I agree that using the suggested live link code right in your comments works well. I've been doing this routinely for a long time, because I didn't want links to my blogger page.
Mad Kane
Looks like you've got the whole world in your hands -
A clever & effective take on the prompt. I like 'zagged edges' & the final two verses close the poem perfectly.
Fascinating work Gautami.
... the fine line between pornography and art. You are so damn clever! A beautiful sly touch, my dear.
Gautami, this is an amazingly tightly-woven compact poem. Your style brings to mind the masters like Dom Moraes, Stephen Spender and R.S. Thomas -whose poems used to be my staple diet in college years. Five stars, for you and your inimitable style. Keep surprising us.
Cheerz!
Hi Gautami,
Thanks for stopping by today.
For poetry critiques, you really should give www.thenextbigwriter.com a try. I know the poets there get a lot of input on their works.
Good luck!
Mike
The hand in all its intricacies, all the nuances of touch... very well done, gautami!
Hi Gautami,
I like the idea of your hands holding the universe.
Rose
xo
I also had to re-read and make sure you were talking about rubbing vaseline on your hands. Nice tease there, and well written as usual.
I'm addicted to Vaseline! I use it on my lips, though. I totally identified with this poem!
Such beautiful imagery - starting with such a strong line. Just lovely.
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