clumsy
fire
overlooked
child sat near effulgent fire
softly singing-
yet she had no reason to be joyful.
her whole world had shattered,
loss of memory was a blessing.
her mind overlooked immediate deficit
even though forgotten tears
glistened clumsily on her cheeks-
no spark kindled in her consciousness.
mother lay dead- father held for her murder.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taking Option One from December Project of Cafe Writing, I use the following words too:
kindle, memory, spark, shattered, effulgent, joyful, softly, glistening
24 comments:
Very well written account of trauma. I hope no child will ever again face this.
Rose
xo
My 3WW is up as well. "Signs of the times"
My dear friend, how I wish you were not so far. I know we would enjoy conversing about a great many things.
Richard
Well, that was a shock! Seemed very Indian, though I know it could happen anywhere. I could just see a little person sitting at a dung fire outside a blue tarp tent on the side of a roadway.
Congratulations on using "effulgent." What a horribly un-euphonic word.
very nicely combined indeed... lovely poem....
"fierenza"
shocking story but well done!
Oh how horrible! :-/
Err, I publish, thinking everyone can read my mind some weeks. This was well written, just a horrible experience for her.
efficient use of so many difficult words.
Oh, my! What a sad picture. I wish your images weren't so good! Well-crafted!
You and i know this kind ofthing happens, which makes this piece even more profound!
Well-done piece of horror...shocking last line.
I really hope this wasn't inspired by real life. And if it was, I hope it happened to total strangers -- or, on the flip side, to someone whose life you can touch and improve.
That last line sure was a shocker, but also made me sad, reality is sad how much ever we hide from it...thanks again.
UL
Oh, what a story. The last line was a shock.
Such things do happen. Scary, I know.
Especially in Naxal areas.
That was a shocker of poem, very well-written.
--Gay
Great piece, though hard =(
You like a challenge don't you? That's alot of words to fit and you did a fantastic job!
Best wishes for 2008
amnesia would be a blessing in such a situation. How horrible that any child should have to live through such an ordeal. Very well done!
Christy
So well done, Gautami, cut right to my heart. I wanted to pick her up and just hold her and sing quietly beneath her voice. Powerful.
Marcia (MeeAugraphie)
Great poem, title is okay too.
There's great adjectives throughout and wow...what a powerful finish!
This is finely crafted and very sad, Gautami. I feel for the girl.
WOW g that was beautifully written...mankind we can be so cruel...but life is full of grace...
You wrote in a melachonly tone for a heartbroken girl. no child should have to see that!
I cant even pick a favorite line. Its perfect.
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